With only 5 teaching weeks left its finally hit home that my input into this has not been up to scratch so far and if i want to achieve something i need to change my attitude so i am making a commitment to draw everyday and upload my sketches onto here, to deliver everything required to the best of my abilities. It hurts when i see other peoples work pinned up on the wall and it looks better than mine so i must improve and fast before the final pin up in may.

REALITY CHECK

I think its back to the drawing board quite literally after yesterday my mind couldn't  process anything but its time to think about creativity and actually get back into the mind set of why i live garden design.

after looking at my finished plan it looks so boring, uninspiring and completely of my key aims. its going to be a long 7 days to get everything done.

after mondays crit for the first time this term i actually felt confident in myself and the comments i received where something i could really work on. I spent the last 2 days contemplating what will happen on friday if someone told me that I have contorted some life restricting or shortening disease then at 13:30 on the 19/12/13 i have decided screw it what will be will be and don't let it affect me. It may be too late to get a first but I'm going to try and get it no matter what the situation. After watching train spotting for the millionth time (back when Danny Boyle made good films) I have finally decided that the live life speech is the best philosophy and not the opening speech of the film.

Just researching my site only to find out some poor kid was murdered there 5 years ago. how do i managed the design i do not want to offend anyone with my ideas as they will be viewed many times.

I feel that this year so far is the gamble that hasn't paid off after being ripped apart after the presentation i know now that the work wasn't good enough but least i did some thats more that can be said about others but i think anyone who attended the class on monday heard my opinions as i was not quiet about them at all.

The key question i suppose is what do i do from here do i look at what I've done draw a line in the sand cut my losses and start afresh as i now feel a good grade has flown out of the window or do i embrace the fear, hate and anger from monday and turn to the dark side and just see what i get at the end of the year.

Its going to be a tough few days

Metis stage 1